Cell phone is off. Nothing to read. No form of entertainment to capture my imagination. It’s a matter of simply sitting – in silence – for 150 minutes and doing…absolutely nothing! Such is the life of an EOG PROCTOR! It is the educational equivalent of watching paint dry…a necessary evil in the current scheme of things.
What makes this so difficult for me and so dreaded for hundreds of other parents each year? Has my personal culture of “busy” become such an adrenaline rush that stopping is only for a few winks of sleep?
The endless silence leaves me to the limited observations of the present environment and the unlimited world of my personal thought life. Perhaps, that is what frightens me – how often are we left alone to do nothing but think? Just the thought of it fries the brain!
I know it’s a discipline I must develop and accept for what it brings. Is my thought life so untrained that it lacks the capacity to perform on its own? Is it possible, I have become so accustomed to having my thinking done for me that the freedom to think bears great resemblance to those first fears of walking, climbing or driving?
For me, it comes down to the fact of being an annual reminder of what I should be doing on a more regular basis. Maybe by next year my thinking cap will fit better and the fear of “nothing to do” will subside into “look what I can do.”
I think I can, I think I can…
MON-FRI 1P-3P, SUN 6A-10A